Black Lives Matter?

Over the course of the last few weeks we've all seen the outrage, anger, heartbreak and blatant disrespect over the murder of George Floyd and so many others before him. I have personally engaged in a variety of conversations on this topic with people from all backgrounds. Some understand it and are outraged too, others are struggling to understand and are trying to internalize and some want to just sweep it under the carpet.

In a zoom call and subsequent group chat with two of my very dear sister-friends, we had an open and honest dialog about it all. Specifically, we shared what it was like for each of us; a black woman growing up with “privilege,” a Latina with two sons who are half black and a bi-racial woman with two sons who are Afro-Latino. After 25+ years we are having a very intentional and open conversation that has shed so much light on our feelings about race relations.

What we found is that, even for us, the conversation was difficult, at times a bit contentious yet a safe place to be open, honest and vulnerable. It highlighted what many of us already know, racism is prevalent, in varying degrees, toward everyone. And more conversations like this are necessary. More of us need a safe space to discuss how we feel, the experiences we’ve had and continue to have and someone on the other end who may not understand but is willing to try and willing to allow us the space to share.

I am Latina with two sons who are half black. I am the first one to say, “If I was ever discriminated against I either didn’t realize it or didn’t care.” However, with the space my sister friends have given me, I realize that I did care. That looking the way I do, people often have no idea where I’m from and being a Latina who doesn’t speak fluent Spanish had its own issues. I never felt as though I belonged anywhere, not with other Latinos, not with Whites, not with Mixed people. Yet I always was welcomed among the black community and I never questioned why, I always just went with it and still do. We are family, we are the same and as I’ve grown into an adult, I feel that way about most people. Yes we have our differences, yes we have our experiences and perspectives and at the end of it all, we are the same. Same blood, same struggles, same stressors….no matter the skin color, country, hair texture, salary, education….we are all the same at our core. We are human, we want more for our children, we want peace, we want to be loved and accepted and we want to feel safe, at all times.

So for those of you who refuse to support #BlackLivesMatter because you believe #AllLivesMatter, please, I beg you, understand that if all lives mattered we would not have to fight for black lives to matter. We would not have to fear when our black sons, brothers or husbands leave the house. We would not be overcome with fear and anxiety when a cop is driving behind us, even when they are not pursing us. We would not have to fight for equal treatment for our black sons, brothers or husbands or in predominantly white communities.